My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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