My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just pynch a tree in the face
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
