Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
