One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
