she was so not down for the gang bang
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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