I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
