I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
