she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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