i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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