Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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