If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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