His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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