I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
