it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
