Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
