I wanna passion pit in your ass
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
