I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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