and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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