Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
