Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
