They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
