this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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