this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
