She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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