What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
