guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
