She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
