she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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