And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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