Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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