I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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