I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
