He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
