That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
