If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
