if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
