do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
