i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize