I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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