Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
