We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
