why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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