He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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