Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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