just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Alive.
So much puke
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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