So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I would ride that face into the sunset
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
