I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
