yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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