There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Its about making memories worth repressing
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
