So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
