Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
