Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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