Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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