oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
