I think I am morally bankrupt
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
