I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
