The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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