maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
