Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
