redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
