Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
