im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
