btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize