ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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