So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
