Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize