I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
