No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
