You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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